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Truyện cười

How Many Knaves Live In This Street

A wag asked his friend.
“How many knaves do you suppose live in this street besides yourself ?”

“Beside myself !” replied the other. “Do you mean to insult me ?”

“Well, then ?” said the first, “how many do you reckon including yourself ?”

Bao nhiêu kẻ bất lương?

Một kẻ thích đùa hỏi người bạn :

– Theo anh thì ở phố …

Stone and Stone- Breaker

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A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before, so he began:

“My name is Stone, and I’m even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or there’ll be trouble. Don’t …

Great Mystery

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Newsboy : “Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?”

Passerby : “Here boy, I’ll take one” (After reading a moment)
“Say, boy, there’s nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?”
Newsboy : “That’s the mystery, sir. You’re the fifty first victim”.
Bí …

Like a gentleman?

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt’s house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played …

Isn’t any goal the same?

Katine-Football-The-Katin-001

A new trainer was giving his first lecture to a Young Pioneers Football Team. He admonished a young player:

– Why did you kick the ball into your own team’s goal? Can’t you distinguish your own goal from the goal of the other team? The young …

Because of absence

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Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?

Junior: Because of absence. Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was. Vì …

The French People Have Difficulty

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The French People Have Difficulty

“Did you have any difficulty with your French in Paris ?” “No, but the French people did”
Người Pháp không rành tiếng Pháp – Anh có gặp khó khăn gì với vốn tiếng Pháp của anh khi tới Paris không? …

Question and answer blonde jokes

QuestionMark1

Q: How do blonde braincells die?

A: Alone. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind? A: Blow in her ear. …

I though

thinking_cartoon

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question. “Isn’t it true that …

Kiss A Me

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A man and his wife were driving their RV across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee.

They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town….

I want to by that

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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she …

Are you really sure?

The-Academic-Job-Interview

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.” Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ …

The price of choise?

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What is better?

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant. He told the patient,”You have your choice of two brains. For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”The patient was amazed at the …

I won’t have to worry about you

friend

A player was telling his mother about the game scheduled for that afternoon.

-Today we will play in a stadium with a roof, Mom! His mother replied happily:
-Really? That’s very good. When you’re playing 1 won’t have to worry about the hot Sun …

The lost key

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At a restaurant, a guest said angrily:

– Waiter! Why is this key in my soup? What do you think of it?
– Sir, I’m very happy – replied the waiter
– I have looked for it everywhere from yesterday. Thank you very much! Thank you very …

Why didn’t you refuse it?

Yellow-card-referee-mod

After the Football match, a player went home with a sorrowful face.

His surprised wife asked:- Why are you so sad? What’s the matter? He answered sadly:- Today I got a Yellow card.- So, did you want to get it?- Of …

A little monkey business

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A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he’s there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey, please”.

The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the …

Graduate student life

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A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke

The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you …

Let them quit the game early!

Trong_Tai

A wife was telling her “Football Referee” husband:

– Dear! There is an anniversary of death in my parents family. You’ll prepare to go there with me, won’t you?
– Alas! I can’t go, because this afternoon I have to work as a referee for the Championship Cup …

Misunderstanding

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The young wife moved by her football player husband, said:

– Last night you held my head in your hands and fondled me. I didn’t know that you were so much in love with me that you think of me even while you sleep.The player was surprised….